When I look in the mirror I see a woman who is anything but fit. If I am being totally honest there are moments when I see a fat, lazy, slob. There I said it! Now I’m going to lay all of that aside and say I am totally not fit. But I’m gonna be! I’m beginning to get fit. Let me tell you this crap ain’t easy. If you are fit, eat right, and exercise everyday…… YOU ARE MY HERO! That’s right you are. I’m struggling with it but am taking it one day at a time.
Currently I weigh close to 230 pounds and if you knew how hard it was for me to admit that you would be amazed. I don’t even look at the scale at the doctor’s office. I hide my eyes. I have no full length mirror nor anything else that shows how I look. I didn’t want to see it. After all, I know that I am overweight. I feel about mirrors the same way I felt about my uncle’s ex who felt she needed to send me exercise videos all the time. That they were all (her included) the spawn of Satan.
It’s one step forward and two steps back but I don’t have any huge goals. I feel like if I set goals I would be setting myself for failure. Trust me it happens every single time. The only goal I have is to be able to walk for thirty minutes straight and not be winded.
Don’t worry I’m gonna share with all of you my journey, tips, moments I want to kill for chocolate, and more. After all what fun is the journey if I go it alone? I don’t expect this journey to be an easy one and I will honest and say that I will probably fail. I know that sets me up for failure but I am not overly excited about all this. I just know that it is so far past time that I did it that it isn’t funny. I have to do this for myself but a little part of me is doing it for all of those people who have ever told me that I couldn’t. That I would also be the fat chick and they wouldn’t bother trying to be anything else.
There is also a small tiny part of me that is doing it to show my ex that he didn’t get to win. Total childish but after the hell that jackwad put me through I can’t help it. If that seems harsh know I just finished shredded a bunch of papers and journals where I wrote all of the things he said and/or did. So as I write this post I am feeling a little raw. I had to go out and walk for a bit before I could sit down and get my thoughts together for this post.
One thing that I am doing is some Workout Challenges I found on Pinterst. I am going to pick one, follow along for the thirty days and then live blogging it every day. Well, most days because I am sure there will be days that I forget to make a little note. This will all be in one post and if you look over in the sidebar you will see July’s Challenge. Feel free to follow along with me and I would love your comments on how you are doing each day.