I don’t know about y’all but it was only just a few short years ago (like eight) when I let my nails grow out. I was a bitter I’m embarrassed to say. It was a nervous habit that I picked up in my early years and it stuck with me. That meant that I never had long pretty nails unless I went and had fake nails put on.
I did that a time or two and let me tell you that I have no idea how all of you that do wear those do it. I am going to be beyond frank and give you a little TMI but I had the hardest time in the bathroom when I would wear those. However, I still loved to paint my nails.
Growing up I always wore light or pale shades. Mostly because red wasn’t allowed (“This ain’t the red light district ” my father would say) and I was always afraid something wouldn’t look nice. More importantly that someone else wouldn’t like how it looked. Later after I married I stuck with colors that he liked. Oh, longed to try green or neon yellow but knew it wasn’t allowed. The paler colors were nice and looked sophisticated but I yearned for something trendy and new. One color I always wanted to try but wasn’t sure I could ever pull it off o matter what was black.
Then a few days ago I threw caution to wind and painted those puppies black. I have to say that I love them! I feel a little like a rebel and I can’t tell you when I have felt so happy over something so minor. I am planning on doing them black from to time and getting myself an awesome ring or two to wear with them.
While I realize that painting your nails a nails is not that big of a deal, for someone who has been controlled for so long it is very freeing. I felt like I was taking back a part of myself. The part that would have painted them black regardless of what my father thought when I got old enough. He never wanted me to dye my hair and the first time I did it he realized it was time to let me fly. His words not mine.
Then I went and hitched my post to an unworthy man. One that I know my father would have punched several times over the years. However, I a firm believer in:
That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.
That means I am getting stronger and stronger every single day.