For those who don’t know I suffer from depression. It was something I was diagnosed with a few years ago and let me tell you it is a struggle some days. There are moments when just getting out of the bed is a chore. The last few months have been some of the worst. Not the absolute worst because I had those not so long ago. Luckily I now know the signs to look for and ask for the help I need.
I don’t know if was just the winter weather or what but I spent the first part of this year just wallowing in my depression. It happens from time to time with me. I don’t always know my triggers and like I said this time I’m thinking it was the lack of sunshine.
Winter depression is common and while I don’t suffer from it all of the time there are occasional years where it is worst. Typically for me a trigger is an event. Like a death in the family or even a work related event that will send me spiraling. I feel like I am finally beginning to come out of the fog. When my depression flares I am tired all of the time and it’s hard to get out of the bed. Work isn’t even a thought.
I cry all the time and make life around just as miserable. I HATE being this way. I HATE having this disease. Make no mistake it is a disease. One that I spent years not knowing I had or even understanding what is wrong with me. I take medication that helps in the everyday. However, when I have a flare up (that is what I call my really bad moments) the medication doesn’t seem to work as well. One of the good things is that my flare ups aren’t as often as they once were.
I struggle everyday but I know that I am getting the help I need. I decided to share this with y’all because I wanted you to understand why there seems to moments where I am MIA. It is not always by choice. There are occasional days where I have to choose what one thing I can mange to do. On those days I always choose my family.
The sun is starting to shine more and more everyday now and I make a point to get out there in it. It makes me happy and makes me feel better. Just looking out the window and seeing the sun makes me feel refreshed and energized.